There are three simple means and examples of what praise means…and basically what it means to me…
An expression of approval and commendation; "he always appreciated praise for his work"
Offering words of homage as an act of worship; "they sang a hymn of praise to God"
Express approval of; "The parents praised their children for their academic performance"
Lately I’ve been having a real problem with praise…NOT giving it, but getting it. In all aspects of my life.
In school, I am a hard worker, and have never really received praise for my work. I mean I was always smart…not always A+ but smart none the less…. And because of that I never really got a lot of attention from my rents when I did do well on things….they kind of figured cause I always did well it was normal. I have an older brother that was a typical guy in school, it was hard to get him to pay attention, so then when he did well he got praise for it. It didn’t make me jealous or anything and my rents do give me attention when I do well now…BUT not as much as I would like.
When it comes to friends, I feel like I do a lot for people and I try to make everyone happy…and it goes to waste a lot of the time, or maybe not to waste per say but I don’t hear about it! Since I like to talk a lot, and listen to people talk, I get to hear about all their other friends and I wonder if they say the same things about me to them (their friends). It’s always been a question I asked myself. Am I appreciated? BUT…That’s kinda another topic; we’re talking about praise today! So with friends I get to hear about all those other people, and then its funny that sometimes when I am with a group I hear a lot of “ohh thanks so much….you’re so great…I love that about you” ..It’s not so much that I’m jealous it’s just that it’s not about me so it makes me sad. I am not asking to be glorified! That’s not what I mean…I just want some thanks or nice comments once in a while. It’s not just ONE friend it’s mostly ALL of them. When people do talk about me to my face it’s usually the bad things. I get to hear about how people think I will be in 10 years…which is married with kids and ignoring all my friends….that’s a hard thing for anyone to hear…FOR ME its ten fold, I can take when someone says something bad to me that I can change or something I’ve done wrong, I might get upset, BUT I do make a conscious decision to change that about myself. BUT things like the fact that my friends don’t think I’ll pay much attention to them, or that once I get married I’ll diss them, or that I wont come visit them, or that I’ll move away and forget them…that hurts…its nothing I can change, it’s horrible that people think that of me and think I will turn out like that…NOT that I would, I love my friends, they help me stay sane…BUT why are all of them being so harsh to me?
In high school I was a push over…I put everyone before myself! It used to make some people mad. And I had to hear about it all the time. Then I had a good friend that taught me to stand up for myself…mind you, she used the tough love approach, but in the end I realized what I had been doing. It was a good thing, and I appreciated it. BUT now that I do think about myself a bit I get in trouble for it…and people assume that I’m a selfish person that’s not going to be there for them in a couple of years! What’s that about?…its like catch 22…When am I going to do things right for other people to be happy with? I don’t want to loose any of my friends, and wouldn’t ever want to do anything to hurt them!!
There was really only one person that I tell my true feelings to, and that I tell how I feel about things to. And I realized that I don’t really even have that anymore. I really work hard at the friendships I have, I’m at school though and its tough to make time for everything…I basically take any free time I have to go home and see my one friend, and where as it’s a BIG thing for me and I get mega happy that I get to see them, they just don’t seem to care! I know they do…BUT I never get praise for doing it…I just get to hear about how other people are doing so well and how great they are.
I have a few other things that are bothering me, about certain things. BUT they won’t get mentioned in here…there isn’t a point really…its just going to fall on deaf ears.
I might just go back to letting people walk all over me and try to work friendships that way. It worked better then, at least I got praise for always being there and never complaining. I wish I had someone to really talk to about this…ha-ha but who really listens to me anyways…. My man does, but that’s different! It’s never going to be like girl talk! Plus he’s got his own problems…so I don’t like bugging him with mine!
I’m OUT…sorry I talked too much!!
posted by Beezaleez @ 4/19/2006 10:05:00 PM
9 Comments:
is there something you'd like to say to me?
Is there something you'd like to say to ME?
i already did...."is there something you'd like to say to me?"
There are things I'd like to say to alot of people...but sometimes things are better left unsaid. Nothing will change by me telling these things to everyone...so why bother?
sometimes that's true and sometimes it ISN'T
YOU being the poster child for telling people what/how you feel eh!?
I'll talk to people tho...I guess its better to get things out than to bottle them up!
ya you're right i suppose it is better to harbour negative feelings about a friend or someone close to you until it boils up inside of you that you burst and end up saying someting you might always regret....probably better to do it that way....
I do belive I said I WOULD talk to people...I think its better to talk to people than to bottle it up...YOU dont need to remind me of that!
BUT I'd rather think things through BEFORE I did...so that when I do I don't say the wrong things!!!
i'm the same way. i have to go through what i'm going to say and then what i think the other person will respond with and how i'll respond to them...it takes me days but its better because them i'm more prepared and don't get so mad with something someone says to me
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