Wednesday, June 28, 2006


Yesterday I was a WRECK….I apologize for being so emotional to those who had to deal with me!!

Today is more of a happy day. My man was home since his new job hasn’t started yet!! Last night we stayed up until 1:00 am playing RISK….I won technically, he said once you have more than half the world you win, but we kept playing. That was a bad idea, cause the I lost….lol…It was my first time playing and I wasn’t that good….for some reason I decided to get ONE man on each place I owned….I owned LOTS but then it just made it easier for him to take his 8 places and overtake all of mine! GRR I hate to lose! Then we slept in and just relaxed until I had to leave for school.

For some reason I’m in a flowery mood…I don’t know if that’s what you would call it. But I want to look at flowers, and just smell the roses. I decided since I am I this mood I would share some pretty flowers with you!! Some flowers I MAY or MAY NOT have in my wedding. See my favourite flower is the Gerbera, so I want to have that….SO my girl or girls will have gerberas and I will have roses and gerberas….or maybe just MORE gerberas!!...I don’t know though, we’ll have to wait and see!!

I LOVE this one....not the weird nest of twigs at the bottom tho...its the style I want too, with the bunch of flowers and the stem handle!!!

I like this big bundle too...but the light pink colour throws me off....atleast it's the type of flowers I like!!

This is what I want for the Ladies....its just going to be a bundle of Gerberas, in a solid colour. I'm not sure what colours but I'll figure that out when we pick our theme colours, cause I dont know all my options for the actual flower colours yet!

posted by Beezaleez @ 6/28/2006 01:01:00 PM 5 Comments

Tuesday, June 27, 2006

Why is it that I call people like her my friends?

I can’t believe I still talk to this girl!! I am SO fuming mad right now, NOTHING can change the feeling I had when this one person said what she said!!

I’ll explain! Yesterday I was working with a couple “friends” at school on a project…these are the same “friends” that ditched me and are rude to me on a daily basis…. SO all is good, then another friend showed up, he was coming to work on some things but had to leave early to go to his sister’s graduation. This got us chatting, because my little bro just graduated high school and is going to university next year. Basically the guy, we’ll call him, John, said something along the lines of….ohh he’s going to get some GOOD play, all those hot ladies are game for him!...OK let me tell you my brother has a very serious girlfriend that he would literally give the world to!...So I told John, no I don’t think so, he’s taken and he’s not that way. He basically said “naw, he’ll be having some ‘side’ fun.” Hardy har har har…I can joke, but then I turned to the girl I call my friend, and asked “you’ve met my brothers girlfriend; she’s so cute, he wouldn’t cheat on her, would he now?”….She FUCKING sat there, thought about it, and said “yeah, he prolly would”…WTF my brother would ditch his own MOTHER to hang out with his GF, he would drive her 4 hours to some soccer game turn around, come back, and drive back the next day to get her, he would even do the same for HER little brother, he LOVES her…and wouldn’t EVEN look at another chick!! That alone offended me…I mean sometimes my brother is annoying and sometimes he’s a prick…BUT fuck, a cheater he’s NOT, and DON’T Fucking say shit about him EVER again!

You think that’s all? NOPE…so that made me MAD….but I was willing to let that one fly. I asked her if she was crazy first tho and she replied, “All guys are cheaters” …NOW like I said I was willing to let my bro go, cause maybe he’s not going to stay with his GF they’re young, maybe things will change…I didn’t want to fight about him anymore….But ALL guys, I DIDN’T want to let that go, specially since her last BF was my fiancés brother! And I know for a freaking fact that he wouldn’t EVER have cheated on her! BUT I didn’t want to ask her about him, that wasn’t where I wanted to go with her in front of everyone else. SO I asked about the only guy I can actually vouch for….My Man!!! So I asked “Ok all guys are cheaters?…hahaha…what about MY man?” ….AGAIN she thought about it and said “yeah he would/will, just give him time”….OHH NO YOU FUCKING DIDN’T!?!?!...I could NOT believe my freaking ears! She called my fiancé a fucking cheater, and said if he didn’t, he would! Basically it’s inevitable!

WHORE! He wouldn’t EVER, we’re getting married, and how you DARE say shit about him and his faithfulness!!!! I didn’t know whether to cry, yell, or hurt her! Of course, I just sat there and went quiet…I wanted to say something…I was going to call her a whore to her face…BUT I’m not the type to be THAT rude…and by the time I thought of something REALLY perfect to say it was too late, the subject had changed! Now I’m sitting here across from her wanting to throw my whole computer at her and tell her how I feel about her and HER cheating ways. I mean OK she’s a cheater…her last BF, my fiancés brother, left her cause she had cheated like 7 times on him, BUT that’s NO excuse to freaking talk shit about other people. OK maybe she could have made a strong statement and then when I asked about my brother or my man she could have said “I can’t speak for them” that’s even better than making such a harsh accusation as to say THEY would and WILL cheat at some point! That’s NOT her place to judge!

OMG someone PLEASE agree with me here! I need some support on this issue…and MAYBE something good to say to her….cause I REALLY don’t want to just leave this alone, I want to say SOMETHING!

Thanks for listening!

posted by Beezaleez @ 6/27/2006 01:29:00 PM 2 Comments

Saturday, June 24, 2006

This being sick is starting to take a toll on me! It seems to be a repetitive thing also!

Its annoying to, because I was talking to a chick in my class…yes “my friend” has been demoted to “chick in my class”, Right now she’s being an idiot! BUT more on that later….and I was saying how I didn’t feel good again and you know what she said? “You’re always sick though. Something’s always wrong with you. You should go see a doctor”…Dumb bitch, I’m not always sick. I’m sick just as often as her, BUT I just complain a lot about it. Ok maybe I am sick a lot, BUT it’s more tummy aches, which I get when, even the tiniest bit nervous, and having the flu is common. I’ve only had the flu twice this winter….I think….hmmm….yeah only 2 times. That’s not horrible, lots of people have been sick twice already…right?

I do honestly think my immune system is lower than others. I mean when I get even the tiniest cut on my body it swells up and then the next day is infected. I’m NOT a dirty person, I was my hands A LOT…I can’t stand having ANYTHING on them. I always said that if I ever have to have major surgery I’ll prolly die from infection, since my body won’t fight it off! And you know what…I was totally right. Not major surgery but I had my wisdom teeth out in high school…and guess what? Yeah that’s right, I got 2 really bad infections. I had to have drains put in the “holes” from where my teeth were! I KNEW that would happen to…and OMG did it hurt to have those drains put in….the first time I wasn’t expecting the pain, so it wasn’t AS bad…but he did it without any sort of pain killer, SHOVED the little piece of nasty tasting shit in the open wound and then said OK DONE…..but then I had to have it done a second time….I BEGGED for something for the pain. BUT NO! Jerk!!! Anyways so I was right and NO matter what I do, I get infections….damn immune system. And my body is weird in other ways, EVERY time I get stressed, even the slightest bit, I get cankers. So during exam week, the first week of any new job, and all other stressful times, I have a huge canker somewhere in my mouth!! I prey that wedding planning goes well over the next 10 months, because I can’t have 10 months of cankers!!! That would REALLY suck!

Right now I’m sick with some sort of flu. I’m killing time before I go to the walk-in clinic, because I really think its BAD. It started Sunday as a REALLY sore throat, I was avoiding swallowing in general because it was soo painful. So I figured I had strep cause my moms a carrier of the strep virus (she’s immune to it, but can give it to others somehow)…but then I had a cough and a runny nose, so I thought that wasn’t strep, and figured it was a regular cold. BUT then today….Saturday, I woke up and thought I was dying. I couldn’t even get a deep breath in, cause my chest was so tight. And my throat is so swollen that it’s making it even harder to breath! AND I can hardly swallow cause my throat has swollen itself up. AND every time I cough, which is A LOT, it hurts my ears and my neck badly! See the thing is I normally won’t go to the Dr. because I hate going, explaining all my symptoms and then being sent home to get some rest….I had a REALLY bad cold in high school, went to the Dr. and he told me that…so since then I don’t go, because I don’t want to waste my time. BUT this time It’s REALLY bad…what if I do have strep and its getting worse…what if my tonsils are swollen to golf balls and I need to get them taken out….WHAT IF?...lol…so I’m going to go and find out what’s wrong, JUST so I don’t sit and stress myself out for nothing…cause I don’t need a canker on top of all of this…haha!!

SO that’s all for now…since it’s a long boring post I’ll tell you more about the “chick in my class” later! Wish me luck at the Dr’s and pray I’m not secretly dying! OH GOD what if I have the Avian bird Flu??!?!?!? AHHH!!! I wish the Dr’s opened sooner than 9am!!! ARG!!!

posted by Beezaleez @ 6/24/2006 07:30:00 AM 0 Comments

Wednesday, June 21, 2006

I joined this blogger world just under a year ago, and I feel like its going down the pooper! It’s been an outlet for me that I LOVE, and I love reading about other peoples lives and having that connection. It’s been great for me to vent and tell my stories. But it’s also started fights and made me upset on many occasions. I am the type of person to take things very personally…EVEN if things are not directly about me. If it’s something I’ve thought about myself and then read I have the tendency to assume it’s directed at me. But there have been other times that I have told things in confidence that have miraculously appeared in blogs and were said to NOT be about me. But I have a feeling that these people just don’t realize that they are being too open. Fine with me I guess, I don’t have to read those blogs…But I love all the other things on these blogs. I love hearing about things I miss and how these people are doing in everyday life. I don’t get that unless I read the blogs…its catch 22. I wish it was easier. I wish I could keep my personal issues to myself. I wish I DIDN’T need to talk. I wish everything was that much easier! But it’s not…so I’ll deal with it in the way I can! This is usually to not deal with it and to ignore it the best I can!

On a good note it’s helped me learn a lot about issues I knew nothing about. I have to give props to all the people out there that have blogs as outlets for REAL issues.

I’m not leaving, if that’s what my few readers think…I just feel since things is a blog about venting, I should tell the whole truth. Plus since it’s almost my blogs birthday I thought I would sum things up!

Happy Almost Blogger Birthday To Me!!!!

Haha, don’t laugh, its all I’ve got! I’m sick (again) and totally swamped with crappy school work! I need something to make me happy! Even wedding planning is at a standstill right now…argg I wish I could just plan that and do nothing else. I am however going dress shopping for my MOH this weekend….but she hates shopping and has already made other evening plans….so I guess we won’t be too long. I just want to look, I want her to be comfortable at our wedding, and since she’s also not a dress person it’s going to be hard to please her! We’ll see!! I’m crossing my fingers that it goes well for a first time outing of this sort!

Anyways off to school for me! Bye

posted by Beezaleez @ 6/21/2006 08:08:00 AM 11 Comments

Tuesday, June 13, 2006

Saturday June 10th was one of my high school friends wedding day! It was beautiful, she looked beautiful and everything went off without a hitch. It was a smaller wedding at about 110 people. I was one of her bridesmaids and it was a blast! I was VERY nervous to stand in front of everyone because I figured I would screw something up…BUT I didn’t! Yay me! The highlight of the day was seeing how happy my friend and her new hubby were to be married, they’ve been engaged for almost a year and a half. The second highlight of the day was getting to drive, or rather be driven, around in a stretch excursion!! We got picked up for breakfast, taken to the hair dresser, and then to get makeup done, then to the wedding…and all around after! It was soo fun! We even had champagne in the limo too…mmmm!! Since my mom was just getting off work she decided to come to the church and catch everyone coming out, she thought we all looked beautiful. Then when I pointed out the huge limo we had she told me not to worry cause she already got the card…holla….maybe we’ll be driving around in that too Rocks!! What do you think?

Anyways other news now….the 10th was also my 3 year anniversary with my man….we didn’t do anything because we were at the wedding and since we’re already engaged we don’t really think we’re supposed to celebrate…now we’ll celebrate our engagement date, and then our wedding date!! COOL!!!

OTHER other news! I got accepted into the program I applied to!!!! It’s a bachelor of architectural planning program and can take me really far!! There were only 13 positions available for this bridge program….a bridge program means that since I’m already going to be done the architectural Technology course I can skip right to 3rd year, of 4 years. So 2 years to do the program!...At our college 16 people applied, but then 3 dropped out of the interviews, so with 13 people left I figured my chances were good..lol! BUT then I asked during my interview if since there were only 13, would we all going to get in? haha!!! He told me that it was out of ALL the architectural technology colleges …meaning there could be 200 or more students applying!! BUT OMG I got picked…THEY PICKED ME!....THEY WANT ME!!!! Hehe….From our program 7 or 8 got in, which is pretty sweet! We have some smarty pants here! Anyways, so I got an offer of acceptance, now I REALLY need to seriously think about going! I didn’t want to decide before because I didn’t want to have a let down. I didn’t want to decide to go, get soo excited, and then not be accepted. SO now I’m thinking! It’s a location change, a banking change lol…and even a change that will affect my man and I both together! Ahhhhhh lol!

Anyways that’s all….check back later!!

posted by Beezaleez @ 6/13/2006 01:25:00 PM 3 Comments

Tuesday, June 06, 2006

At one point it seems like there is nothing to do, and then another I’m swamped and drowning. I hate that feeling.

When it comes to wedding planning I’m doing alright, not planning too much right yet because of being in school until August. That’s making me worry, because I am scared that everything won’t get done. I know I will…it’s just like me to stress! I only have one girl on my side of the wedding party, she’s my best friend and has known me since I moved here in grade 6. That’s a long time for me to really know someone since before living here we really didn’t live somewhere for more than a year. My dad works with a company that kept transferring him, it was good for him moving up in the company, but hard on us moving a lot. In a way it might have been good, my older brother and I are both very good socializers, we can walk into any crowd and chat it up! So when we moved here, I met my friend we became good friends, I think we kind of grew apart for a short while…but that was because I was annoying! I basically tried to make myself like her so she would like me more. Anything she liked I liked, that kind of kid…..YES I was that kid…Her “I really like the movie Free Willy”…Me “OMG…MEEE TTOOOO” meanwhile I hadn’t even seen it! Lol…That and the spandex shorts, I really think that was the reason she wouldn’t talk to me for a while!...I mean really who wears spandex shorts to gym class!! Seriously! What was I thinking?!? Ha-ha, but we prevailed and are still friends to this day! She’s gotten me through a lot, and I hope I’ve helped her throughout our friendship too…for that I thank her! I truly believe we’re soul friends…we may fight a lot, but that’s because we’re basically sisters. If she was my biological sister we’d fight just as much!

Anyways, that’s all for today…I’m swamped with school for this week, one test today and one exam tomorrow!! Yay me!

posted by Beezaleez @ 6/06/2006 09:27:00 AM 9 Comments